- PonderingTwo Silent Love ~ Pondering Two The title of your home page

Thursday, 7 February 2013

A beep on his mobile phone made him ran straight towards the top of his building. Taking two-three steps simultaneously, he reached the terrace in no time although gasping for breath. He positioned his binoculars and glanced at her charming face, wavy hair, smoky eyes and her breathtaking smile as he skipped a heartbeat.

Background: This fiction is written capturing the essence of First Love, A Silent Love when a feeling of love races in someone's heart, a small bubble of joy bursts on seeing that person and hoping silently to muster some courage and eventually ask that person out.
Author's Note: This is the fourth time a 55 fiction has been tried. Hope to get some views on the above as I am still learning the nuances of writing 55 Fiction.
Rohan Kachalia

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  1. nice !! am sure d more u write more refined nd captivating yr f-55 will bcom !! ny story with an unexpected twist is always a treat for d readers nd f-55 is no exception !! ..gud wrk though :)

  2. Nice try Rohan, tender love captured is so few words.

  3. Nice effort.
    I have no clue about 55 word fiction or any fiction for that matter. So take my words with a pinch of salt.

    Simultaneously may convey the meaning, however, that is not the right word. Replacing simultaneously with at a time would be better. In the next line we come to know about the binocular. You can change the previous line by removing "in no time" to clutching his binoculars or something and then gasping for breath. Nothing is sacrosanct. You can keep on playing with words and fine tune to your satisfaction. Keep on writing and you will get better and better.